Grigor Dimitrov's racquet-smashing meltdown in the Istanbul final left the Bulgarian feeling as emotionally adrift as "a kite in a perfect storm."
Two days after Dimitrov completely imploded smashing three racquets in a nightmare loss to Diego Schwartzman in the Istanbul final, he was back on court in Madrid.
Watch: Dimitrov's Major Meltdown
Spanish wild card Pablo Carreno Busta, a finalist in Estoril in Sunday, defeated Dimitrov for the first time, 7-6 (3), 6-3, in the Madrid Open first round.
After a couple of days to reflect on his outburst, the 28th-ranked Dimitrov said frustration got the best of him.
"Sometimes it gets to you a little bit. Like I wanted it too much," said Dimitrov, who was playing for his first title since the 2014 Queen's Club. "That also showed that I cared a lot. I'm not just playing sometimes a match just to say that I'm playing matches, but they mean something to me.
"The past days have been rough, but in a way I'm happy that this just is behind me now. It just passed like a little storm. Like I felt a little bit like a kite in a perfect storm, so to speak."
Dimitrov, who apologized to fans and his family during the trophy presentation ceremony on Sunday and tweeted out another apology later, said he also apologized to Schwartzman in the locker room afterward.
"He was in the locker room and of course I apologized. I know what is it to win your first title, and to win it in that way, I know it feels shit," Dimitrov told the media in Madrid. "If I were him I wouldn't talk to me, you know what I mean?
"I congratulated him and really apologized for taking that moment away from him. I can only learn from it. In the same time, in the heat of the moment, you just sometimes don't know what can come up. Actually I tweeted as well because I really owe like to him personally that apology. I mean, I would've done it to whoever I played because I know it sucks."
Dimitrov, who failed to convert a match point in the Sydney final where he fell to Viktor Troicki, said he's trying to learn from his Istanbul outburst.
"It's no fun when you break strings on such big points and in such big of course moments. As I said, it gets to you," Dimitrov said. "That shows also that we're all human. I mean, I let myself down, and mainly like my family and my team. Of course all the audience.
"I don't usually do that kind of stuff. It sets a super bad example for the youth, in a way. It happened. That just happened. That was me that day. I'm not trying to hide it. I'm sure everyone saw it, so I don't shy away from it. As I said, I care a lot for the matches. I care and I was so close. In Sydney I was so close. I had a match point, then serving for the match there. So it just builds up a little bit."
Photo credit: TEB BNP Paribas Istanbul Open