By Richard Pagliaro | Thursday, March 12, 2015

 

Serena Williams meets the media in her return to Indian Wells for the first time since 2001.

Photo credit: @BNPParibasOpen

Returning to the site of her most painful and controversial final, Serena Williams admits she's nervous but committed to making a positive comeback at Indian Wells.

The world No. 1 met the media today in her first official Indian Wells appearance since defeating Kim Clijsters in the 2001 final marred by jeers and boos from some members of the crowd.

In his book, Black and White: The Way I See It, father Richard Williams said some fans hurled racial epithets throughout the 2001 final.

"The chorus of boos that cascaded through the stadium sent a powerful message to America, to Venus, to Serena and to me," Mr. Williams wrote. "It was a message from the past, one America tries to put behind it, but can never forget. It was a snapshot from the days when the open humiliation of the black race was accepted without question.Accusations and racial epithets flew threw the stadium. No one questioned the unruly behavior of the fans. The only thing in question was our character and our integrity. My daughters were treated without an ounce of dignity or respect. They were treated like criminals."

Rather than re-open old wounds, a calm Serena spoke like a woman already working through the healing process.

"I am not here to focus on what happened in 2001," Serena told a packed press conference today. "I can say that I was a teenager. And I have a tremendous amount of integrity from the time I stepped on the court until today. That’s all I’ll say about that. I have had nothing but integrity my whole career."

Clad in a black Nike warm-up jacket, the world No. 1 looked relaxed despite conceding "I was a little nervous to come out here."

The 19-time Grand Slam champion has won Indian Wells two of the four times she played the tournament. A 17-year-old Serena defeated Steffi Graf, 6-3, 3-6, 7-5, in the 1999 Indian Wells' final before fighting back against Clijsters and a portions of a hostile crowd in the 2001 final.

Serena said she had to release old emotions and anxiety before she could return for a fresh start.

"In order to forgive you really have to let go," Williams told the media. "I was a little nervous as well. I went through something that wasn’t the best thing for me. Trying to get over those nerves and coming back and how will I feel? What it is it gonna be like? Will I have to experience that? When you do forgive and let go you do have to let a lot of those emotions go as well."

The top seed will face Romanian Monica Niculescu in her Indian Wells opener tomorrow night.

Here are five takeaways from Serena's 17-minute press conference today.

1. Serena did not believe she would ever return to the desert.
 
“I can’t say that I thought I would come back,” Williams said. “I didn’t think I could come back, to be honest. I felt like I did what I needed to do. I finished my career in terms of being here at this particular tournament. But at the same time I actually never thought I would come back.”

2. The world No. 1 discussed the possibility of her return with her family and team before speaking to tournament owner Larry Ellison on conference call about it. Utimately, Serena said it was timing rather than one specific reason that prompted her decision.

"It was just a really good opportunity for me. I just felt like it was time," Williams said. "There was not one thing that said I should come back. I should come back in 2015. It was more or less timing. I just felt it. I just felt like everything was the right time for me to come back and try to do the best I could again…

"In order to forgive you really have to let go. I was a little nervous as well. I went through something that wasn’t the best thing for me. Trying to get over those nerves and coming back and how will I feel? What it is it going to be like? Will I have to experience that? When you do forgive and let go you do have to let a lot of those emotions go as well."


3. If older sister Venus opposed her return, Serena says she would not have come back.

"I feel if [Venus] didn’t support me, I wouldn’t be here," Serena said. "If she said, ‘Serena I don’t think it is good,’ or ‘I don’t think you should go’ then there is no chance I would be here right now. She 100 percent supports me. And she’s very happy I’m here and even encouraged me to come."

In an interview with Tennis Now last week, Venus said she fully supports Serena's return, but did not commit to her own comeback in the desert. 

"I've always supported her decisions. I feel like she's made the right decision for her," Venus told Tennis Now. "And I completely support her. It [Indian Wells] is not on my schedule for this year."

4. Williams' primary memory of the 2001 final is "praying and trying to get through the match."

"I don’t really watch that match, actually. It’s not a fun match to watch," Williams said. "I don’t remember having any emotions of happiness. I remember sitting down and praying. I think I was losing the first set and said I don’t want to win this match I just want to get through this moment. And I don’t know what happened. I just won after that. Truly just a moment of praying and trying to get through the match and get off the court."


5. The world No. 1 expects to feel nervous stepping on court tomorrow night, but ultimately believes she will be strenghtened by the experience.

"I think there will be added nerves," Williams said. "I would really not be telling the truth if I said there wasn’t. To be honest, I was a little nervous to come out here. In the beginning I was like what was I thinking? But I’ve kind of had to overcome that hurdle.

"I spent an extra day in L.A. I was kind of like 'I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready yet.' I just had to overcome that. Once I got here everything has been really amazing. I’m looking forward to stepping out on center court and letting the whole world know it doesn’t matter what you face or whether it was something that wasn’t right. Something that hurt your family. You can come out and just be strong and say 'I’m still going to be here, I’m still going to survive and I’m still going to be the best person I can be.' "