By Chris Oddo | @TheFanChild | Monday November 9, 2020
Nick Kyrgios has made the most of a season away from tennis, and in a recent exclusive interview with the Aussie rag Stellar, the 25-year-old opens up about his past run-ins with depression as well as his newfound comfort level inside his own skin.
Kyrgios, who hasn’t played on the tour since late February in Acapulco, spent much of his quarantine being a good Samaritan in his native Canberra, where he bought and delivered groceries to those in need in his community and has reconnected with his family after several long years on the road.
The current World No.45 seems to have found more peace in his life and a greater sense of who he is as a person, and he comes off as a mean at ease in the interview, talking about his upbringings on the ATP Tour and how at times he felt lost, depressed and used.
“I felt like no-one wanted to know me as a person, they just wanted to get a hold of me as a tennis player and use me,” he told Stellar. “I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone. It was a lonely, dark place. And things came from that. A lot of people were putting pressure on me, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I just lost joy for the game and I was spiralling out of control. I fell into depression because of the things I thought I had to be. I was afraid to go out and talk to people because I thought I’d let them down because I wasn’t winning matches.”
These days Kyrgios is happy to be calling his own shots on tour. He’s got a good friend working as his agent and he’s still coachless and eager to prove that you can still make it on the tour without travelling the conventional route.
“I want to prove you can do it your way,” he says. “Obviously, you have to work hard, but you can go your own path.”
The Aussie has made headlines at time during the last few months, namely for calling out players who he perceived to be behaving recklessly during a global pandemic. He says that these days he has reached a point of no return. He’s happy being himself and if he feels like saying something, nobody out there is going to stop him.
“There are tennis players who live and breathe tennis, and that’s fine,” he said. “I’m not saying that’s wrong or right. But when people say, ‘He doesn’t want it badly enough’ or ‘He’s not a champion’... Well, maybe. But I’ve reached a level of freedom in my life when I really don’t care what anyone thinks of me.”
In the past Kyrgios has ruffled feathers by talking about his love/hate relationship with tennis, but nowadays he comes off as a person who can appreciate the sport, both for the pure joy he takes in playing it and for all that it has offered him in terms of a platform.
“Nothing beats playing in some of the best parts of the world against tough opponents and doing all the work off the court to have success,” he said. “I’m definitely missing it. But I don’t live and breathe tennis. I know my tennis career will come to an end, and I’m OK with that. I’m not going to say I could have worked harder, played more tournaments, done this or that. I love being at home with my family and my girlfriend, and working with my foundation and helping the community. There are plenty of other things I love doing.”